Meet Kirsten Cheong, Therapist for Women and Building Healthy Boundaries

Building healthy relationships, setting boundaries, and building confidence.

Don’t let fear define you.

Ready for the next step?

Anxiety is wrecking you on the inside but you look so composed and put together on the outside that no one knows you’re suffering. Your anxiety has never been so bad that you needed to ask for help before. But I’m inviting you into a therapeutic relationship where you can share your feelings and get some real solutions.

You’re tired of confrontations going the same way where you take the abuse, words escape you, and the only thing you can manage to do is cave in and give people what they want, just so the situation can be over. It seems like you think of the perfect things to say AFTER the conflict happened.

Currently, you don’t see a way out of this. Your anxiety is stronger than your willpower and you can’t seem to get the courage to not people-please anymore…until now.

Balance and Boundaries Therapy Can Help!

I know how to help. I know your next step.

Here’s a little insight about anxiety, people-pleasing, and perfectionism:

  • Anxiety is the body’s way of keeping you safe. But your brain thinks minor issues are life-threatening, sending you in a tailspin over things that are actually manageable.

  • People-pleasing is a survival tactic to avoid confrontation that feels more threatening than it is. It also makes you seem more likable and ensures that you gain approval from others.

  • Perfectionism comes from the belief that you cannot make mistakes or you risk being unworthy. Perfectionism is the active avoidance of failure.

Sounds like you?

How I work:

  1. We start with building trust. In order for you to begin addressing your relationships, we start with ours. I will offer you a safe space where you are empowered to say the quiet parts out loud and to voice your pain to someone who won’t dismiss you.

  2. We look at your history and identify patterns of behavior between you and your loved ones. We look at cycles of conflict and call out at which point during altercations you give up or break down.

  3. We redefine “conflict” and work on making it less scary for you.

  4. I share information and engage you in exercises to help practice healthy boundary-setting. We practice phrases, communication skills, coping exercises to get you through your next confrontation.

  5. You apply these new skills in your relationships, observe the outcome, and come back to session and process it with me.

How do I know you’re the right therapist for me?

I’ve been where you are:

Restless nights overthinking about things that can’t be controlled. Spending too long crafting the perfect text that won’t upset the recipient. Triple checking my work to make sure it’s perfect. Avoiding conflict at all costs. I get it.

I struggle with anxiety. I am a perfectionist. I am a recovering people-pleaser. I know what anxiety feels like in my body. Too many nights I’ve spent not sleeping because I was replaying an argument in my head trying to figure out how I could have handled it better. People also look at me like I have everything figured out…I don’t. Girl, I understand.

Trust me when I say that you can handle worst-case scenarios…even though they probably won’t happen. Let me help you learn how to set healthy boundaries so you’re not people-pleasing anymore. Help me help you understand the root cause of perfectionism and let’s work on it together.

I know you, girl. It’s time you know me, too.

specializing in:

Anxiety Therapy

People Pleasing & Boundaries

Online EMDR Therapy

Let’s chat

 My beliefs about therapy

Experience

I know what healing feels like and my goal is for you to grow into your full potential.

Humor

Let’s laugh a little. While I take your feelings seriously, sessions don’t have to feel stiff.


Validation

As your therapist, I can handle your emotions. Let therapy be a place where you can say the things you think in secret.


Methods & Modalities

  • You may not think you have trauma because nothing severe happened to you. However, trauma comes in many forms. Big ‘T’ trauma is life threatening. Little ‘t’ trauma are things that aren’t violent but do cause significant distress. Anxiety and people-pleasing are often born in little ‘t’ experiences. Exploring the little ‘t’ is where we do most of our work.

  • I use a mix ofCognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and trauma-informed approaches such as EMDR and IFS to help you understand how you are programmed to feel anxious and use people-pleasing to cope with that anxiety.

  • I use ideas from inner child work to “talk” to the younger version of yourself who hi-jacks your brain and makes decisions out of fear and a desir to protect you.