EMDR & IFS Therapy for Women Healing from Narcissistic Abuse in California
For the woman who looks fine — but is done pretending she is.
Their control ends where your healing begins.
Your Anxiety Makes Sense…Here’s Why:
You look like you have it together. You show up, you perform, you manage, and nobody around you would ever guess how much energy that takes. But inside, you're exhausted. You carefully police what you say so you don't rock the boat, brace for criticism that may or may not come, and spiral for hours about a conversation that most people would have forgotten about. Even when you accomplish everything on your list, it still doesn't feel like enough. The anxiety isn't just stress. It's constant. It's in your body. And no matter what you do, it never fully goes away.
There's a reason for that. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, your nervous system was trained from childhood to stay on high alert. You were taught to deny your intuition, to question what you felt, minimize what you experienced, and defer to someone else's version of reality so consistently that you stopped trusting your own. You learned that your feelings were inconvenient, your needs were too much, and that keeping the peace mattered more than telling the truth, even your own. Over time you became an inaccurate narrator of your own life, second-guessing your memories, your perceptions, and your worth. That's not anxiety. That's a trauma response. And it has a name: survival.
You're not broken. You're not too sensitive. You're not overreacting. You've scrolled through your algorithm, consumed every post about people-pleasing, codependency, and anxious attachment, maybe even asked ChatGPT what you should do — and you still don't feel better. Because the answer was never out there. The self-doubt, the constant need for external validation, the feeling that you can't trust yourself to know what's right — none of that is a character flaw. It's the cost of being taught that you couldn't trust yourself. And it makes complete sense that you're still searching.
Therapy with me isn't about venting or being handed coping strategies that don't stick. Using EMDR and IFS, we go to the root of where this started — and we actually heal it. You'll stop policing yourself. You'll stop outsourcing your sense of self to other people's opinions. You'll start to trust your own instincts, your own perceptions, your own voice. And you'll finally feel like an accurate narrator of your own life.
Kirsten Cheong LMFT, Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician & Certified Parts Work Trauma Specialist
You’re in the right place
Hey, I’m Kirsten Cheong (Curse-ten Chong)
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, and Certified Parts Work Trauma Specialist and I've spent my career watching what narcissistic parenting does to people across an entire lifetime.
I've worked with adult children of narcissists at every stage of life: from children in foster care to adults in addiction recovery, all the way to the high-functioning woman who looks completely put together on the outside and carries a dark history that almost nobody knows about. What strikes me every time is how consistent the damage is, and how possible the healing is, regardless of how long someone has been carrying it. Decades of subjugation change a person. But they don't define them. That's what I know after years of doing this work.
My approach is direct and — yes — sometimes funny. Not because your pain isn't serious. It is. But because humor has a way of shrinking the power of the people who hurt you. When we can laugh at the absurdity of what you were put through, something shifts. The fear loosens. Your confidence grows. And you start to realize that the voice in your head that sounds like your parent? It's not yours. And it doesn't get the last word.
This isn't just about venting. It's about actually healing — and maybe laughing a little along the way.
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery for Women
You spent your childhood protecting yourself from the person who was supposed to protect you. That's not normal. That's not your fault. And it's not something you just get over.
Anxiety Therapy for Women
The spiraling. The second-guessing. The exhaustion of managing everyone else's feelings before your own. This isn't just anxiety. This is what growing up with a narcissistic parent looks like decades later.
Online Trauma Therapy EMDR & IFS
You've talked about it. You've journaled about it. You've Googled it at 2am. But talking about trauma and actually healing from it are two very different things. This is where we go deeper.
Frequently Asked Questions
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I am in network with limited insurers including Optum/United Health Care and Aetna. For clients choosing to use their out of network benefits, I work with Thrizer to generate superbills (receipts) on your behalf so you can easily pay and wait for reimbursement.
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Yes! I offer a free 20-minute phone consultation so we can make sure we're a good fit before you commit to your first session. Submit a consultation request on the Contact page and we will schedule a 20-minute phone call.
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My practice specializes in working with women, particularly those dealing with anxiety, perfectionism, and the effects of being raised by narcissistic parents.
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My office is located at 9431 Haven Ave., Rancho Cucamonga, CA 91730. However, I only offer online therapy to anyone across California.
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Simply schedule a free 20-minute consultation here or call me at 760-281-3364. We'll make sure we're a good match before booking your first appointment.
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Absolutely not. Not everyone I work with identifies a person in their life as a narcissist. Sometimes, people have anxiety and people-pleasing tendencies for other reasons, and I am equipped to help with that, too!
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While I can’t be sure why things didn’t work in the past, I am a firm believer in finding the right-fit therapist. It’s important that we work well together, that you trust me, and that my style works for you. Before working with anyone, I always have potential clients schedule a free 20 minute consultation so we can both be sure about our partnership.
Ready for the next step?
Taking the first step toward therapy can feel vulnerable, especially when you've spent most of your life being told your feelings don't matter. But you've already done the hardest part just by being here. The rest is simpler than you think.
Schedule your free 20-minute consultation. No commitment, no pressure. Just a conversation where you can ask questions, share what you're going through, and get a feel for whether we're the right fit. You can schedule online
Book your first appointment. If we're a good match — and you'll know — we'll get your first session on the calendar. Most clients start weekly, same day and time each week, so healing becomes a consistent part of your life.
Show up for yourself, consistently. This isn't a quick fix and I won't pretend it is. Real change happens when you commit to showing up…for your sessions, for yourself, and for the version of you that deserves to finally feel okay. That's the work. And it's worth it.